Welcome! My name is Jason Kerchner, and thanks for visiting! If you're new here, you may want learn a little more about my story.
When I think about many of the bad decisions I’ve made in my life, I find that many of them were made when my emotions where very strong. I lost a good friend once because of some things I said in anger. I bought a house I really couldn’t afford because I absolutely fell in love with it. I joined poor business opportunities because I was excited about making tons of money with them.
Now, this does not mean that I should have ignored my emotions. But emotions should be kept in their proper place. Emotions should be used as a GUIDE, to tell us we are moving in the right direction. But we have to be careful that our emotions do not make our decisions for us. There are two reasons for this.
First, there is usually a heightened sense of emotion initially, but then it fades with time. An idea we were once very passionate about suddenly loses its luster, especially when reality sets in. Once I lost that friend, I regretted the things I said, especially after the initial anger began to wear off.
Second, emotions can blind us to reality. Once I was faced with large mortgage payments and realized how that affected other areas of my life, I discovered the house I fell in love with wasn’t so important after all. When I realized I wasn’t really interested in that business opportunity, only the money, then the work it was going to take suddenly seemed very daunting and unpleasant.
You want to be happy. You want to protect yourself. But heightened emotions should not be your decision makers. They are guides only, to let you know what direction to take.
Rather than speaking out in anger, I should have cooled off a bit, then talked to my friend about why I was angry. Before buying the house, I should have taken some time to really consider whether the cost was worth the perceived benefit, and what I would have to sacrifice to get it. Ditto for that business venture.
I look at high emotions as a warning sign that I am potentially about to make a bad decision. Here’s what you can do to avoid making decisions based solely on emotions:
- Delay the decision. If at all possible, wait until the emotions die down before making your decision. If, after a decent amount of time has passed, you still desire the thing, then go for it. If the decision can’t be put off for whatever reason, then at least recognize your emotions are high, and think carefully about what you are doing. Most decisions, by the way, can almost always be delayed.
- Look at all your options. Before jumping head first into a decision, take a look at what other options there are. It may not be obvious at first, but there is a very good likelihood that there are alternative that may actually suit you better. Don’t get drawn into endless analysis, but its a good idea to ferret out all these alternatives while your engaging in step one above. Make the decision when your emotions are at a “normal” level.
- Look at the down side. Nothing is perfect, so be sure to look at the faults in what it is you desire. Make sure that you can realistically live with the down sides. Especially the down side that you don’t want to see! Many people start a business when they are excited, then once they realize the amount of work it takes, quickly fall into complacency. This is also a great thing to be doing while you’re implementing step one!
- Talk to others for a reality check. Find out who has what it is you want and find out what they think about it. What’s is really like? Ask a trusted friend for their opinion about how you should handle a situation. And whatever you do, don’t dismiss what they say by thinking, “well, I’m different so that doesn’t apply to me.” It might not, but these are often immediate responses from you brain to convince you to move forward. Your brain wants you to feel good, and doesn’t want anything, not even reality, to kill that good feeling. By the way, this is another great step to take while you are still doing step one above!
Remember, emotions are guides, not decision makers. Keep them in their proper place, and you’ll find far more happiness and success than you ever thought you could have!
I like, and I totally agree. Good Job!
Pam
We should never make a business decision when it is based on emotion. Every deal can wait until we cool down and if it can’t it’s not worth doing.
I like this post and look forward to reading more..
Thank you Jason for this post. It was very valuable. Keep spreading great value. =)
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