Fear is designed to keep you safe. It’s a good thing to have, in situations where there is immediate danger. Unfortunately, we are rarely in any immediate danger, and fear that keeps us from our goals is not generally very useful.
But did you know that you may be reinforcing, justifying and validating your fears?
Did you know that you might be making your fears a permanent part of your personality?
In this video I covered the two ways in which people will justify their fears.
- By not doing those things you fear, nothing bad happens, and so you reinforce that the fear was useful.
- As time passes, you begin making excuses on behalf of the fear, consciously justifying it.
Now, there are times when your fear may serve as a valid warning. For example, before you invest tens of thousands of dollars into a new business venture, that little nagging fear might be just the thing you need to ensure you do your due diligence and thoroughly investigate the opportunity.
Most times, however, the fear is unjustified. You KNOW the ones I’m talking about.
So the question then becomes, how can we move through our fears?
There is no question that we feel fear, and that fear can be a very real and a very powerful force. Well, here are a few techniques that you can try to overcome fear.
Comparing Inaction Vs. Action
This first technique will compare what it is you fear to do, with what will REALLY happen if you DON’T do it. Depending on the strength of your fear, and what will happen if you don’t do the thing you fear, you may find that the DOING overrules the NOT doing. This technique works great if you’re currently in an unpleasant situation that could be made worse in the long run from inaction.
- Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that could happen if you do that thing you fear. Really imagine that bad thing as if it were happening to you RIGHT NOW.
- Think about what happens AFTER that bad thing happens. Can you live with the AFTERMATH? Is it really as bad as you though it would be?
- Now, imagine what will happen if you DON’T do that thing that you fear. What’s the WORST that will happen if you don’t do it? The effects might not be immediate, so you might need to think long-term here. Imagine it as if it were happening RIGHT NOW. How’s THAT feel?
- Now think about the AFTERMATH of that thing you fear to do, while still imagining the result of NOT do it. Which is more desirable?
Perfectionism, or Fear of Failure
Another technique is to focus on the good instead of the bad. Imagine doing that thing that you fear and achieving a good outcome. DON’T think of the BEST possible outcome. Just think of an ACCEPTABLE outcome, one that you would feel good about. Imagine having that outcome RIGHT NOW. Now imagine another good outcome, and another one, and another.
The reason I don’t want you focusing on the best possible result, is because you might not get it. And you know that. Fear of failure often comes from a fear that the outcome will not be perfect, so you need to let go of that. Typically, situations can have several outcomes, many of which, while not ideal, will be quite acceptable.
Procrastination with Stuff You Don’t Like to Do (Like Stuff You’re Afraid Of)
Sometimes, your present situation isn’t all that bad and inaction really won’t make anything worse. Of course, it won’t make anything better, either. In that situation, you can try the overcoming procrastination technique I wrote about in October. This technique works when you want to do something that you don’t like doing, but it can also work with certain types of fears.
So hopefully some of these techniques will work to help you move past your fears. Fear can be powerful, and using any of these techniques may still result in you being uncomfortable.
That’s just the way it is.
There is no magic bullet solution, only techniques that might HELP.
So go for it. Break past those fears. And let me know how it works out for you!
Hey Jason. Very nice post. I first learned to overcome fears similar to the way you described at a Tony Robbins UPW event. This process works because we are motivated by either fear or pleasure.
The Fear Factor
If I imagine the worst that can happen if I DON’T do it, then I am going to find motivation to DO it in order to avoid the fear of what could happen if I DON’T do it.
or
The Pleasure Factor
If I imagine the absolute best that could happen if I go ahead and DO it, then I am going to find motivation in DOING what I need to DO so that I can experience the pleasure that I imagined.
It works!
Exactly right, Shirley. We either seek pleasure, or seek to avoid pain. Unfortunately, doing something we fear means moving directly into pain, and that’s the whole purpose of redirecting our focus to avoid a greater pain, or to find pleasure.
I agree Jason….unfounded fears can cripple us, all under the veil of keeping us safe. When we move out of our comfort zones and face our fears head on, great things happen in our lives.
Most times our fears are the result of our egos trying to hold us back from change and growth – which it sees as highly threatening.
One of my biggest fears was doing video, but once I faced it head on it wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned. I’m proud of the steps I took to overcome my fears and am improving with each video I do.
We need to remember that change is inevitable…growth is optional. I choose to grow, and am honored to be in the company of others like yourself who have made the same choice!
Blessings,
Kathy J
From Kathy Jodrey´s blog… Tribe
You make another good point here, Kathy, that the thing we feared, once we do it, usually isn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Even better, the more we do it, the easier it gets and the further the fear recedes. Thanks for sharing that.
Your video on this post Rocked Jason.. Great job.. I should have asked that girl on that date.. lol You are so right..
From Jaime Mo´s blog… How To Employ Yourself, 3 Simple Steps To Self Discipline.
Well, certain people have this fears, it might be related on their childhood. Until then if your fear becomes unresolved it will affect you a lot. Overcoming fears takes time and effort but the thing is you want to overcome it. Making your own choice is a good start.
From donny gamble´s blog… MLM Syndication Sunday (Week 5)
Indeed it does take time and effort to overcome fears. Small steps are best, overcoming little fears or just parts of a fear (which won’t be possible for all fears) can lead to big changes over time. And it’s a great feeling to overcome a fear.