The Challenge: Always Speak Positively

If you are a parent, then you probably know what it is like to be negative a lot of the time. At least, that’s often what it feels like. Parents are constantly telling their kids what NOT to do.

Of course, it’s not just with our kids that we tend to speak in negative terms. We do it with our friends, our co-workers and ourselves!

But what if we could turn all this negativity around?

What if everything we said was phrased positively rather than negatively? And I’m not talking about positive affirmations or positive self-talk. I’m talking about turning your negative talk around in a constructive way.

This is going to be harder than you might think.

I got the idea for this one when I saw my son reading at the kitchen table with the overhead lights out.  My initial reaction was to tell him NOT to read with the lights off.

But that doesn’t tell him exactly what he SHOULD do. Yes, it is implied what he should do, but I’m tired of always telling him what not to do. So, I decided to tell him what he SHOULD do, rather than NOT do.

I corrected myself, and told him to read with the light on.

Do you see the difference?

What do you think your life would be like if you did this all the time? Imagine how much more of a problem solver you would be, how complaining would be missing from your conversations, and how you would have to help your co-workers and kids find solutions to their problems, rather than blaming them.

How To Speak More Positively

Pay attention for any negative words when you talk (and even when you think). Look for the word “not” and especially its contraction in words like can’t, don’t, won’t, and shouldn’t. Use a phrase that does not include the word “not.”

Look for times when you start complaining. A complaint is nothing more than a description of a situation or outcome of an event that is phrased negatively. Turn it around into something positive. I’m not saying to make stuff up to try and make yourself feel better. If it sucks then it sucks, but complaining about it will just make you feel worse. Rather than complain, state that there is a solution and that you’ll find it.

Keep in mind the close companion of a complaint: the blame. When was the last time anything good came out of blaming someone else (or even yourself)? Sure, people cause problems and the fault can often be clearly placed on someone’s shoulders. Never deny what happened, but state the solution rather than the problem.

Anytime you feel a negative emotion, look for words tied to that emotion. Eliminate words like “hate,” “frustrated,” “overwhelmed,” “angry,” and “upset.” Again, I’m not saying to deny these feelings or the situation. But there is no point in focusing on the negative. Select a realistic positive emotion that you can focus on instead.

In other words:

• Don’t say what you don’t want, say what you do want.
• Don’t say what you don’t like, say what you do like.
• Don’t say what you can’t do, say what you can do.
• Don’t say you have a problem, say you will find a solution.

Here are some specific examples of what I’m talking about:

That last one was for all my blogger friends!

Your Challenge

It has been said that it takes about a month to create a new habit. See if you can phrase things positively for just one week. Like I said, it’s going to be harder than you think. You might want to write yourself a little reminder and post it where you’ll see it periodically throughout the day.

I’d like to hold you accountable to this challenge, so let me know how you do!

What negative phrases did you turn around to positive phrases?  You can keep me updated by leaving a comment below, by sending me a tweet or writing on my Facebook wall.

And be sure to tweet this to your friends using the retweet button below, or share it by using one of the other sharing links. That way, you can all be positive together!

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